Real Madrid Signs 7 Year Old

Rumors have been confirmed this morning that soccer club Real Madrid has sign seven-year-old Leonel Angel Coira to a contract. In case you read that sentence a little too fast, let me put it in simple terms: REAL MADRID JUST SIGNED A 7 YEAR OLD. Not only that, but they were competing with rival club Athletico Madrid for the young phenom.

Many critics dislike it when NBA players forgo a college degree to get drafted; little Leonel will be forgoing his Elementary School degree (is there an elementary school degree)? Nonetheless, I feel that there needs to be rules put in place to disallow signings at such a young age.

This is how I picture it: any seven-year-old that is sent to camp with professional soccer players, receives top notch coaching, and is put through vigorous drills will obviously become an amazing player (barring he doesn’t misbehave and earn a timeout). If I were a European Soccer Club, I would sign an entire team of seven-year-olds based on their parents’ build and put them through the best workouts that soccer has to offer. By time they’re 18, remember that’s 11 years of elite training, I would have a team of 6’5, strong, skilled soccer players. My team would be invincible and I would definitely win the Champions League.

My other conclusion is that the US will never win the World Cup until labor laws change and allow teams like the Galaxy and the Red Bulls to sign seven-year-olds. As helpful as AYSO and other American youth soccer leagues are, nothing compares to professional training.

This kid better be the next Lionel Messi (they have the same name and are both from Argentina) or Cristiano Ronaldo, or I am going to be extremely disappointed. Actually, now that I think about it, I probably won’t even remember this breaking news when he is actually allowed to play in 9-12 years.

-Langer