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College Basketball’s Top 15 Least Intimidating Names

15. Pepperdine Waves – The Waves are only slightly more intimidating than the Green Wave simply because they are not green.

14. Portland Pilots – What type of pilot are we talking about here? American Airlines or Air Force? Since there’s no “Fightin’,” in front, we’ll assume it’s the airline pilot. Cool.

13. Tulane Green Wave – Not only is the Green Wave not intimidating—it’s also disgusting. Blue waves are at least aesthetically pleasing. Green waves? Have you ever waded into water rife with seaweed?

12. Minnesota Golden Gophers – Remember the game whack-a-gopher? Believe it or not it’s just as fun.

11. Campbell Fighting Camels – Not even fighting camels are intimidating. The only time I’m scared of a camel is when I’m walking behind it—spontaneous $h*%$!

10. Oregon Ducks – What do you think of when you hear “duck?” Donald, Daffy, or your rubber ducky?

9. Providence Friars – I guess this guy looks somewhat ominous… until you realize he’s a friar. A friar!

8. Youngstown State Penguins – Penguins waddle, eat fish, and get killed by seals

7. LaSalle Explorers – Search “explorer” on Google Images. You’ll find pictures of SUVs and Nickelodeon’s Dora the Explorer. I think the latter speaks for itself.

6. UC Irvine Anteaters – Anteaters are one of the funniest looking animals on the planet, but they eat ants. Should we be scared?

5. Indiana State Sycamores – So supposedly there are a lot of sycamore trees in Indiana, yet the state tree is the tulip tree. I guess the Indiana State Sycamores has a better ring to it than the Indiana State Tulip Trees. At least the school shed itself of its original nickname: the Fighting Teachers.

4. Jacksonville Dolphins – Well would ya look at this? Just LOOK at it!

3. Creighton Blue Jays – Hawks and Eagles? They’re the cool birds—the predators. Blue Jays? Not so much. They eat plants.

2. Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens – Even if we weren’t conditioned to view females as weaker than males, a hen—a female chicken—still wouldn’t conjure much fear. You know the phrase, “What are you, a chicken?” That’s why.

1. Penn Quakers – From the Quaker Information Center: “We continue our traditional testimonies of pacifism…” You can stop right there.

-Kramer

 

About The Author

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Ryan Kramer is a management major at the United States Air Force Academy. He does not like oatmeal, butter, or maple syrup whatsoever. His favorite athlete is Russell Branyan.

Number of Entries : 6

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